life as it should be?

i  wish that my will power could overshaddow my heart. that i woulnt be a slave to anything, just like paul writes. did paul really make his heart his slave? i want that almost more than anything.  who decided what the average life should look like anyways....if being married is the ultimate goal of every persons life then why do we still strive for things when we find that person who makes us...."whole" what does that mean anyways?